You Ditched Me.

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My breathing hitched and I started to feel the lack of air around myself. Oh God! I walked towards the door and slipped to the floor closing the door behind me. Gasping for the air trying to even out my breath…

Was that all for real?

Was Nas cheating on me? She wouldn’t do this to me, right? I trusted her!

I passed a hand through my face frustrated. What if I heard it wrong? Oh hell, something inside my mind scolded me; you heard it right girl don’t be childlike!

———-
“You are crying again?”

I shifted myself in my bed to glance at my big brother with a disgusted expression on his face. His dark brown hair was dripping and he had an almost wet shirt on, so I assumed he had just taken a shower.
It’s been two weeks since I was in my bed. I’d been staying in the room, and literally in the room, not even a step out to grab a coffee or tea or… like anything.

Yes!
I lifted my arm and placed it on my eyes

“please leave me, I am good here”.

“No you’re not! Get up and take a bath quickly. I’m sending the tea for you.” He said in almost a scolding tone, and glared me kept standing there. I waited for him to go. He didn’t. Oh! So he is not going to leave me. I huffed. Alright! I glared at him back and got up from the bed to grab a shower. It took me long and when I came back in my clean white trousers and pink t-shirt I saw a warm tea on the bed side. “I love you family!” I said in a whisper.

Grabbing the tea with both hands I stood in the window. It was midday and everything was silent outside. I snapped back in the day that ruined my trust over humanity.

Nas was my neighbor. Not the next door one. She lived in the same lane and I used to watch her gardening or talking on the phone or reading the newspaper usually in her small yard. She was so fit. I admired her grace even in the age of 65. She was near my grand mom’s age. She had grey hairs and a beautiful face. She was a widow since her young age and so loyal to her love, which proved she didn’t marry again and lived alone all her life selling the local cosmetics, woolen cloths and jewelry from her house. She had a small set up for this and was living a hand to mouth life.

Her real name was Nasreen. I still remember the day when I named her Nas. I am not an emotional teen, instead I’m a grown up girl earning and spending my own. I am a student of art and also I work as a web designer with a small firm part time which pays me a handful amount and I have to work my breath off to make it.

It was a bright sunny morning and I was passing by her house with the high heels on. I had a formal presentation and not to mention I was late when one of the shoes broke from the heel part making me fall on the road like there’s a circus show running. “Hell!” I screamed out loud. It was certainly not a good start.
“Duh”!

Nas appeared with the sympathy expressions and helped me out getting up. “Oh my little pretty girl, what have you done to yourself?” she said with concern and Oh obviously I was flattered at the first part of the sentence already.

Well, she helped me the day with another pair of beautiful sandals that I “purchased” and here was the start of the friendship and concern. I was admired by her looks and told her Nasreen is a way too old for you; you’re as young as your heart is and I’m going to call you Nas. A month later this incident I was completely in love with the woman and loved bringing her food, clothes and gifts more often. I had sympathy with this poor old woman; she was suffering with hard times. She often told me how much she was in the need of a medicine or the treatment that costs a lot and she didn’t have the money. I felt so weak on her tears and I regularly gave her the amount, hiding it under the pillow not hurting her ego and self respect. She was such a kind heart; she loved me back like a daughter. She often told me teary that she wanted the kids herself so badly and that there will be no one remembering her name after her death is what kills her.

I started to snap time from the family and visiting her often with food. I wanted her not to feel lonely, I know I have to get older and weak one day and I know I’d not be happy if I’d be in her place. Her house was a complete mess. I decided to decorate it to make her happy and to engage her in something exciting. I brought her with myself to the shopping and she bought everything she needed for the house from my credit card, contented with the innocent smile on her face that made my heart warm. She is a darling!

I used to buy different things from her cause I didn’t want her ego hurt and wanted to help her too. Most of the times even when I am not in need of the things, I bought them.  I have a huge collection of local brand cosmetics and a closet almost full of woolen cloths.

I just sipped the last drop from my mug and placed it back on the table going towards the drawer opening it. I took a small blue box from the drawer and looked closely on the fake gold necklace which cost my 2 year’s savings, a month’s salary from the part-time job and a few thousand which I borrowed from a friend of mine. I know I didn’t buy it in sympathy like the things I usually buy from Nas. I was in love with the necklace it was stunning and yes, there was a big part of concern with Nas in the decision of buying it. She was in a great need of money and I had my savings. Plus she was not calling for a help, she was giving the value of my money so I thought this is making a nice deal.

I snapped on the day I was in the mall doing the random window shopping with my best friend two weeks back. It was a very fascinating necklace on glass display of the posh shop, so much like mine. I entered in the shop and had a close look on it. It was just like mine. I bluntly asked the sales man about the price and he said it’s nearly 2500 but he can discount me with a smile.

“What, Come again?” I asked.
“Okay, 2400 for you ma’am” He said with the professional attitude.

I know he could even be coming on 2200 when I turned back and rushed my car, saved from almost hitting a tree, and was back with the blue box in not more than 20 minutes. Oh! I am super fast!

“Can you judge this piece for me please?” I had a big frown on my face when I asked this favor from the salesman.

“Sure” He was confused
“Sadaf! What the hell are you doing?” my best friend asked me annoyed and I paid no attention to the question.
“This is a waste ma’am, it isn’t worth even 2000. See I have a better piece it’s….” I cut him off in the mid sentence and confirmed in a hushed tone “are you sure?”
He nodded on my question.

Oh my GOD!!! I was lost.

Well, not to mention I confirmed the thing from 3 different goldsmiths and they all said the same concluding not to trust on humanity!

I sighed.

Tried to breath, my money! Oh, well trash the money but my trust? Tears rolling on my cheeks again.